Finding Healing Post-Abortion in 5 Steps


"It's okay not to be okay." - One of the most helpful phrases anyone has said to me during hard times.

This is truth.

It is okay not to be okay... It is okay to feel every painful part and grieve the loss of this life. It is okay to sit in your room and cry. It is okay to break down at work. Grieving and feeling the pain of loss is important.

Would you put a bandaid on a perfectly fine knee and then proceed to fall on it? No! You wouldn't begin the healing process of placing a bandaid until your knee was hurt and bleeding.

In order to heal something, there first has to be hurt.

Allow yourself to feel the pain and grieve and accept it. If you haven't yet done this, it will come at some point in your life. I would encourage you to begin this first process right now towards healing.


“Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God – you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration – what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; you know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, the days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.” - Psalms 139:13-16

In these verses God shows us His value for life as His beautiful Creation. God loves life! It is sacred to Him. All life, from a fetus at conception to someone on their death bed.

God is sovereign and He gives grace to those who cannot yet comprehend sin or salvation (babies and little ones).

In scripture, God and old testament prophets refer to babies as being innocent, not guilty. In Matthew 19:14-15, Jesus was teaching and children rushed to the door to see him but the disciples refrained them from going to Him. Jesus rebuked his disciples saying, "Permit the little children to come to me, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. And he placed his hands on them and He blessed them." This is an example of God's grace.

These little ones have a secured eternal home with Him in His kingdom. You can have hope that your daughter/son is with Him and that if you have put your trust and belief in Christ then you will be able to see your little one again in His Kingdom.


To repent means to acknowledge sin and turn away from it. God allows grace to those who repent for their sin and he is willing and waiting to forgive. (If you haven't put your trust in God, you can use the prayer resource at the bottom of this article to pray and accept God's free gift of salvation.)

Repentance is a necessary step to finding healing and wholeness.


You need to be willing to forgive yourself.

John MacArther says it like this, "When you aborted that baby, although it was sinful and it was wrong, that baby went immediately into the presence of the Lord. The worst that you could do, brought about the best that could ever happen to that life." What an example of God's grace!

This sin is not past forgiveness. (If you haven't put your trust in God, you can use the prayer resource at the bottom of this article to pray and accept God's free gift of salvation.)

Forgiving yourself means you train your mind by allowing yourself to be pardoned, placing it in the past and moving on from it, no longer keeping yourself in bondage by dwelling on it.


The final step is wholeness. The definition of wholeness is, "The state of forming a complete and harmonious whole." or "The state of being undamaged".

After you have completed steps 1-4 you can begin stepping into wholeness by putting the pain, sin and hurtful or damaging thoughts behind you and begin to live in a manner pleasing to the Lord and uplifting to others. Remind yourself of the truth. Your story is powerful and can be used for positive or negative in another person's life. Use your story wisely. And don't be afraid to share it.

God created you for a purpose, he loves you with infinite, unmatchable, unceasing love. He desires to have an open loving relationship with you as his beloved child. Choose to walk in wholeness today.

"And we know that He is working all things together for the good of those who love Him." - Romans 8:28

"Before I formed you in your mother's womb, I knew you. Before you were born I set you apart." - Jeremiah 1:5

If you would like to accept Jesus as your savior, you can pray this prayer right now and receive Him.

"Dear Lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner, and I ask for Your forgiveness. I believe You died for my sins and rose from the dead. I turn from my sins and invite You to come into my heart and life. I want to trust and follow You as my Lord and Savior."

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